Life's Ups and Downs

So I have been struggling again lately...

You know how when you think that you have moved on and are now occupying a new place, one far away from the previous place you stood shattered, only to realize that somehow inexplicably you have wound up standing once again in the remains of what was. This is were I am...

I thought that I had put the feelings behind me. I put on my big girl panties and I dealt with it!! So why is it back? As I sit here, I am still surrounded by the shreds of things I've put behind me, that for absolutely no reason have once again reared their ugly heads and crept their way back into my path. I am, once again, the lost little girl waiting for someone to see my tear stained cheeks and come to my rescue. I am not one of THOSE girls, you know the ones who NEED people to rescue them!! I have never been one of those girls. There have been few times in my life where I could not pick myself up and go on my merry way. I don't like being the one who needs to be rescued. Although, the knight in shining armor riding in on the white horse to take me away to live in the realization of my dreams sounds like a nice idea, I don't see it happening to me anytime soon, so instead I just rescue myself and move on.

This time is different though. Maybe it's because I didn't truly get closure and there are still things that are unsaid, or it could be that simply moving on can no longer be accepted and I need to be allowed to have a twenties-temper-tantrum!! Truly that's what I think would make me feel better at this point, an all out kicking and screaming, crying til I can't breathe, arms flailing wildly temper tantrum in the middle of a crowd of onlookers all wondering who had wronged this poor girl so horribly that it could ever bring her to this point...